Perhaps Ocado customers should write their emails for them
This afternoon, I received the following email from home delivery company Ocado – titled
“Important information regarding operational trading hours at Ocado”
What was amazing to read is that for some good news (they are extending deliveries in our area to include Sunday – which provides more flexibility), the language they use is so very formal…
“We are writing to inform you of an operational change in Ocado’s trading and delivery hours in your area, which clarifies clause 4.1 of our terms and conditions.[Boy I am so glad I had a copy of their T&C handy ]
We currently deliver in your area from Monday to Saturday only, however, as of this weekend, we will now be delivering up until 3pm on Sundays. All available delivery times can be found on the delivery booking page at Ocado.com.
Head of Customer Services”
Reading this, I had assumed they were going to drop their Saturday delivery service, which would have thrown the Grill weekend family plans into chaos, as my wife pivots our Saturday afternoons around our 4:30pm Ocado delivery (and watch out if they are ever late!!)
I wasn’t the only person to find this strange, @andrewpascoe tweeted at almost the same time I received the email
as did @danlane
So what Mark Bentley should have done is turned this good news into something more substantial. Now I’m not a professional copywriter but perhaps the following would have been more suitable
Dear Mr Grill,
We’ve listened to customer feedback from our valued Ocado customers, and especially from those in your area. To make life easier, we are now offering a Sunday delivery option as well, with slots available from 9am – 3pm.
We hope this helps you enjoy your weekends even more by giving you more times when you can experience the great Ocado home delivery service.
If there is anything you think we can improve on, just give me a call on 0845 xxx xxx or email email@example.com
If you’re on twitter – why not follow us at OcadoUK for the latest news and from time to time some twitter specials and exclusives!
Thanks again for being an Ocado customer – we love delivering the freshest Waitrose products to you every week.
Head of Customer Services
Agree? Leave a comment below or send me a tweet @andrewgrill